Because Of You
by TracyCook
Summary: Deb is ready to end her life because she is alone, but Karen plans to save her. Karen/Deb romance. Femslash! Deben!
1. Irvine

Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Decided to make a songfic multi-chapter for this couple, which considering it is one tree hill this is suitable. The songs will all be Kelly Clarkson, and the one in this chapter was actually in a scene of the show when Brooke was in New York with her mother, but it fit this chapter. :)

Rating: M

Irvine

Booze, pills, fire, and a kitchen floor. Separately none of these were deadly, but all together at once could prove to be fatal for a certain blonde mother. The truth was she did not want to die, she simply had nothing left to live for. Her son had been turned against her, her ex-husband had betrayed her and shoved in her face that she was never the one that he had loved and that he had made a mistake. Worst off he was currently trying to get back together with Karen, she was just too damn naïve to see it.

The hardest part of it all was that she loved Karen. That she was jealous of him, the man who consisted of nothing but evil, the man that was on the way to dinner with the beautiful brunette while she downed some more pills between drinks of alcohol sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Her head was growing fuzzy and her heart was slowing in pace as she could feel her end.

She hated herself for doing this knowing that it would only give Dan the satisfaction that he craved, he wanted her to kill herself over him. That would only stroke his damn ego.

_Are you there?_

_Are you watching me?_

_As I lie here on this floor._

Propped up against the kitchen cabinet she stared down at her phone trying her hardest to dial the number despite her blurred vision. As difficult as it was, she finally succeeded and held the phone to her ear.

'Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring.' The phone loudly rang through her ears causing her heavy head to pound and shoot agonizing pains throughout her body. Not a patient person she ended up throwing the phone as it reached Dan's voicemail. Hoping the phone hadn't turned off when it slammed against the kitchen floor she screamed out, voice slurring from intoxication, "I fucking hate you! You always get everything! And what the fuck did you do to earn it! You are the fucking devil himself!"

Even though if she were thinking rationally she would have known that he could not hear her, currently all rational thoughts were thrown out the window.

_They say you feel what I do,_

_They say you're here every moment._

"God damn it." She mumbled under her breath as she felt the need to vomit becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore, she hated how it felt, but knowing it would be over soon soothed her aching body. Deb would never have to see the disappointed blue eyes of her son who hated her, or those cold eyes of the man she had given her life to in marriage, nor those child-like beautiful eyes of Karen looking at him with love.

Those brown eyes should have been looking at her with love, but they weren't. No one ever looked at her with love. She had gone through rehab, she had done everything that her best friend had told her to do, and what did it earn her? An empty house.

"Just take me already!" The blonde screamed out to the ceiling hoping that some higher being would hear her and take her life. She was tired of being alive. It was too hard and she did not have the strength any longer.

_Will you stay?_

_Stay until the darkness leaves?_

_Stay here with me._

Her body was starting to grow numb and tingle as she slumped even more to the floor, no longer able to hold herself up as her head spun and she finished off the bottle of whiskey she had been drinking before throwing the bottle at the oven shattering it into a million shards of glass that spread across the floor.

_I know you're busy, I know I'm just one,_

_But you might be the only one who sees me._

_The only one to save me._

Deb's brown eyes had fallen shut from heaviness as well as to cure the dizzy sickening feeling she was having. She was waiting to fall asleep and never wake again. When suddenly a ringtone filled the kitchen, echoing off of the walls and bouncing back to her ears. Eyes snapped open at the sound, it was not Dan calling. She had set individual ring tones for each person in her life, and this was Karen, why was she calling her?

Though the blonde did not know the reasoning behind the call she knew she wanted to answer the call. As she tried to stand her body grew heavy and she fell back to the kitchen floor smacking her chin against the tiles, she could not feel it.

Opting for dragging herself toward the phone instead of walking she slowly made herself toward the ringing phone hoping that it would not stop, just as she reached it and opened it the ringing stopped. The brunette she had loved for some time now had hung up. For at least a minute brown eyes stared at the open phone reading over the missed call warning and looking at the picture of Karen, tears falling from her eyes as she willed her to call back.

_Why is it so hard?_

_Why can't you just take me?_

_I don't have much to go,_

_Before I fade completely._

When Karen's ring tone loudly started to play again throughout the kitchen the blonde nearly jumped, she had been hoping she would call back and perhaps even save her from her misery, but she had not expected her to actually do so.

Clicking the green button that signaled answering the phone she held it up to her ear and tried to speak as soberly as possible, but her voice came out slurred and her words did not make all too much sense to the brunette on the other end.

"Hey there gorgeous, 'bout time ya called. S'was getting worried."

"What? Deb? Are you okay? Dan said you called him and left him a disturbing voicemail, he said you sounded angry and drunk."

"I feel just fine."

Karen let out a sigh of relief even though the blonde did slur her words, it was not a sin to drink, and it would not kill her friend if that was all that it was.

"In fact, I can't feel a thing." She mumbled before adding "Maybe it was the pills, or perhaps the booze." After saying this she laughed slightly sadistically, at times Karen thought that the blonde may have been driven mad by the man she was currently out with.

She had gone to the bathroom when she heard that Deb had called sounding strange, she cared a lot for the beautiful woman, she had to do something to help. "Deb, I am coming over."

"No! No. Karen, I'm fine. Enjoy your 'date'." She said the word date with a lot of spite in her voice.

"Date? Is this why you are doing this, you think I would date him again after everything?"

"Isn't that what you are doing?" Deb asked feeling considerably more sober as anger filled her body and tears filled her eyes, she could feel her body giving out and her heart slowing down. Soon she would be gone and the world would be a better place for everyone.

"NO! Deb, no. Please, stay awake, drink some water, I'll be over in a minute." Before the blonde could say anything else the brunette had hung up the phone and started to call the police.

_Can you feel how cold I am?_

_Do you cry as I do?_

_Are you lonely up there all by yourself? _

_Like I have felt all my life._

Deb was now sobbing uncontrollably as she curled up on the floor, she felt hot and cold, and she was shaking as her heart was slowing more and more each minute. She could hear sirens but they seemed distant, her foggy mind making them seem only like a dream.

The door to her house opened and she felt her stomach twist as she was lifted from the ground and placed onto something hard. She could no longer think, she was no longer conscious enough. The last thing she heard before drifting into blackness was Karen's voice. "Deb, stay with us. Please, I need you." The blonde could feel a soft hand in her own as her body was moved.

Then all was black.

_How are you so strong?_

_What's it like to feel so free?_

_Your heart is really something_

_Your love a complete mystery._

Brown eyes stung with tears as Karen looked down at her closest friend as they wheeled her toward the ambulance, she would not leave her side, she would hold the others hand until they reached the hospital. How could she have allowed this to happen, she knew that Deb needed her and she went out with Dan? But, Deb had grown so unpredictable and had been acting irrational lately, it was too hard to watch over her always.

Still, she blamed herself as tears rolled down her cheeks and she climbed into the ambulance with her dying friend. Reaching out with her free hand she ran her fingers against the blonde's mascara stained cheek. Even now she looked beautiful.

_Do you cry, do you cry with me?_

_Cry with me tonight?_

_Are you there?_

_Are you watching me?_

When they reached the hospital she was informed she was not allowed to go in with Deb, she had to wait outside, but before she let them wheel her away she quickly said goodbye. Leaning down she kissed the top of the blonde's head before whispering. "You better not leave me."

_The only one to save me…_

O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H

Authors Note: This will be a multi-chapter fic, and though I know it is not a popular couple it will end up being Karen/Deb romance! Please review if you want to read more! If I get enough reviews I will totally add another chapter very soon!

-Tracy Cook


	2. If No One Will Listen

Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Decided to make a songfic multi-chapter for this couple, which considering it is one tree hill this is suitable. The songs will all be Kelly Clarkson.

Rating: M

If No One Will Listen

Karen had been at the hospital all day and night for the last two days, visiting her friend who had tried to kill herself, she had at first been terrified and now she was actually growing angry with her selfish decision. How could Deb just try and kill herself like that? Without a care for her son, or her friends, or their business partnership, or even Dan? Okay, not Dan, at this point she could care less about him.

"Why would you do this?" She asked the blonde, knowing that she would not answer. Ever since they had pumped her stomach the other woman had been resting and recovering. As expected the question fell on deaf ears and did nothing to cure her curiosity.

She knew that life had been hard for her friend, but life had been hard for both of them, hell life seemed to have a way of being hard on everyone in Tree Hill, but to try and end things? What could have been going through Deb's head to have made her do something so drastic to make the pain go away? Karen could remember when Nathan tried to kill himself after Haley left; perhaps he got this point of view from seeing his mother's destructive ways.

Regardless of why she had done it all the brunette knew was that she was going to try and help her friend through this, get her help for her drug and alcohol abuse, and protect her. She loved Deb.

Stroking her fingernails gently over the soft skin of the unconscious woman's hand she smiled softly as a salty tear ran down her cheek. Closing brown eyes she tried to hold back the tears unsuccesfuly as they rolled one by one down her cheeks in single file. She had cried numerous times since the incident. Remembering all the times that the two of them shared, silly times, dramatic times, and of course fun times.

Some of these being when they had snuck onto the billboard to ruin Dan's campaign and of course the dramatic times being when Deb was acting ridiculous and brought that gun to work and almost killed everyone. She really did not know what she would have done if the blonde had not lived to see another day.

_Maybe no one told you,_

_There is strength in your tears._

_And so you fight to keep from pouring out…_

Brown eyes opened slowly and all that she could hear was the sound of the hospital machine to her side, beeping loudly signaling that she was still alive. _'Why am I still alive?' _She thought to herself before remembering the last few days. It had all been so foggy and seemed like it were just a dream but now it was coming back.

She had been wheeled away to the hospital on a gurney, the lights on the ceiling rolling by as they sped her through the hallway, someone was at her side talking to her and telling her to stay awake and that she was not going anywhere. That voice belonged to none other than Karen, her best friend and the woman that she had harbored feelings for, for the longest time. She had been the one to save her and now the blonde could feel the weight of her guilt.

How could Deb be so selfish again? Trying to take an easy way to get out, her son was probably completely ashamed of her again, as with her ex-husband and the woman she loved. More than likely after she knew that she was going to live Karen had escaped from the insanity. How could she keep pushing her problems on the people she loved?

Suddenly the blonde mother realized that there was something latched onto her hand, someone was holding her hand, and stroking gentle fingers against her skin. She wondered who it could be, who would stick around after she did something so stupid?

As Karen realized that brown eyes were slit open and now glancing down to stare in her direction a large smile crossed her features and relief filled her as she took in a breath of relief. "Oh thank god you are okay!"

"Karen?" Deb asked in a strangled voice as she tried to focus on the beautiful brunette.

"Yes, it is me sweetie." Still smiling like she had just received the most amazing news in the world the innocent mother stood to her feet and looked down at her friend. As she did so the blonde moved to sit up before growing dizzy and falling back. Worried child-like brown eyes widened as Karen started to run her free hand against the older woman's cheek. "Don't stress yourself, you need to rest until the doctor says otherwise."

"Doctor? I hate hospitals, I'm fine really, can't we just get out of here?"

The brunette shook her head and sighed at the blonde's eagerness to escape the establishment. It made sense, after the many times Nathan ended up here, and Dan's heart attack, as well as uncle cooper, it was probably not the most positive feelings she had at the moment. "We have to wait until the doctors say you're system is clean."

As if on que the doctor made his way into the room and smiled softly. "The drugs and alcohol have successfully passed through your system, and obviously you are feeling better, which is good."

Deb did not smile back at him she simply shrugged her shoulders. Perhaps her body was starting to feel better, and she was starting to feel a bit more sober, but she would not say she was emotionally feeling better. "I guess, can I leave?"

"Yes, you can leave, we will bring up your wheelchair."

"Wheelchair?" Deb asked before laughing. "That is unncecisary, I can walk." The blonde sat up and swung her legs over the side of the hospital bed. Despite the dizziness she felt she forced herself to keep her composure and smile up at him.

"If you insist." He said hesitantly.

"I do."

"I will be back with your release papers then."

_But what if you unlock the gate that keeps your secret soul?_

_Do you think that there's enough that you would drown?_

"I really think you should let them get the wheelchair, I don't think you should be walking." Karen stated seriously to her best friend, worry evident in her brown eyes. It was almost enough to cause the other mother to reconsider, but she did not like the thought of it.

She was strong and she could handle walking after something like this, she did not deserve to have someone help her after being so selfish. She had almost taken away her sons mother and her grandson's grandmother, how could she be so stupid? "Karen, I will be fine. Trust me."

Sighing the brunette shook her head and dropped her hand. Glancing up with questioning eyes Deb asked "What?"

"You know, one day you are going to need to let people help you out!"

"I tried that once Karen! All you guys did was lock me up in rehab and tell me I better fix myself or you would disown me! That isn't the kind of help I want or need!" The blonde yelled out through a cracking voice as tears welled up in brown eyes.

The brunette had not realized previously that this was how her business-partner had felt about the rehabilitation; she had assumed that it would help her, that was where she was wrong. Perhaps she was happy in her relationship at the time and had been selfish. Apparently Deb had needed friends to be close to her. "Then we won't send you back to rehab. I will help you through this."

"How Karen? How are you going to help me?" Deb asked tears now streaming down her face.

"Well first we are going to get you out of this hospital, in a wheelchair." This earned her a glare from her friend; she ignored it and smiled gently. "Then you are going to move in with me, and I am going to help you get passed this." That glare that the older woman had been wearing was replaced with shock and the softest of smiles at this news.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. But only if you get your butt in that wheelchair." Karen said giggling as she said it, which earned her an even brighter smile. She loved when Deb smiled; the blonde had a beautiful smile.

_If no one will listen_

_If you decide to speak_

_If no one is left standing after the bombs explode_

"Did Nathan come and see me?" Deb asked despite not really prepared to hear the answer, she knew that the last time she had done something this stupid her son told her she was selfish and he would not be around any longer. Why would he come and see his mother than he hated.

When the brunette did not answer immediately she knew the answer to the question and let out a soft sigh of disappointment as sorrow flashed across brown eyes. Karen could tell that the older woman missed her son, she could not blame her, she would miss Lucas so much if the same thing had occurred. Not that it would have, Karen was far too responsible, but she still did understand the pain as she pushed the girl to the car. "He did not answer his phone when I called."

"Just say no, Karen, its fine. I didn't expect him to show up. God how could I be so damn stupid, he probably hates me."

"No he doesn't. He just doesn't understand what you are going through Deb." The sweet woman said with a soft voice as they reached the car and she helped the blonde into the front seat despite her dismissal of needing any help.

Rolling her brown eyes the blonde watched her friend, and the woman she loved climb into the other side of the car and start it up. Honestly she did not even understand what she was going through. The other night it had been so hard to think of the beautiful girl sitting beside her out with that evil man, she had felt so empty and alone. Like no one cared about her and like she lost the only things that gave her hope. "I don't even understand it Karen."

"I'm going to help you figure it out." Said the brunette wearing an innocent smile as she reached over and held onto the blonde's hand.

Deb shivered at the contact and blushed just a bit at her own reaction to the touch, it was as if she had felt a shock go throughout her body. It was ridiculous all of these feelings toward her friend, but she could not seem to suppress it. "Are you okay?" Karen questioned with worried brown eyes.

Blushing even more the blonde shrugged "Yeah, fine as I'll ever be."

"No, we are going to get you better, you need to be happy."

"How can I be happy without my son?" Her voice quavered as the tears threatened her eyes.

"Once you are better, he will come back around. He doesn't hate you; he just cannot see the woman you once were anymore." Pausing Karen kept her eyes on the road as she ran her thumb gently against that soft hand before adding "But, I see her in there still and you will be happy again."

_If no one wants to look at you_

_For what you really are_

_I will be here still…_

The car ride seemed too silent, yet neither woman knew exactly what to say, both lost in their own thoughts. Karen was worried about her friend and feeling guilty that she had not realized how selfish she had been. She had not noticed how bad the blonde needed her in her life while preoccupied with things with Andy, she should have helped her friend through things and not just thrown her in rehab.

She had simply been angry with her for bringing that gun to the café and risking so many people's lives, not to mention that she had not been listening to reason. Still, she should have tried a bit harder.

Deb was thinking about her obscene crush on the girl beside her, her reasoning behind trying to kill herself, and her son and if he would really forgive her. She was hopeful because Karen had sounded so sure of her, it made her sure of herself. She would get him back in her life, and get her life together, she would be a good mom again. No matter what threats that Dan had made toward her in the past he was not part of her future and things had not been her fault. She knew that she could pick herself up as long as she had Karen.

Smiling she looked over to her friend and whispered. "Thank you."

An equally bright smile spread across the brunette's features as she turned to the blonde and said softly. "Of course, I will always be there for you sweetie."

The older of the two felt her heart swell at both the comment and the usage of the pet name that her best friend had given her, it meant a lot more to her than it probably should. She needed it though to start healing.

_No one can tell you where you alone must go,_

_There's no telling what you will find there._

_And, God, I know the fear that eats away at your bones,_

_Screaming every step. "Just stay here."_

As they pulled into the driveway the brunette got out of the car before quickly rushing around the vehicle to help her friend out, before she could get out on her own that was. Deb could be so stubborn; it was actually one of her endearing qualities. At least to Karen, she always mistook that stubbornness for strength, at times she wished she could be as strong and confident as her. Not so naïve to the darkness of the world.

"You need to let me help you Deb, if you can't even let me in enough to help you into the house, then how are you ever going to let me help you get passed these vices?"

The blonde thought it over for a moment before nodding her head begrudgingly and allowed the other mother to help her out of the car and escort her to her house.

_If you find your fists are raw and red from beating yourself down…_

_If your legs have given out under the weight…_

_If you find you've been settling for a world of gray…_

_So you wouldn't have to face down your own hate…_

_I will be here still…_

O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H

Authors Note: This will be a multi-chapter fic, and though I know it is not a popular couple it will end up being Karen/Deb romance! Please review if you want to read more! If I get enough reviews I will totally add another chapter very soon!

-Tracy Cook


	3. Maybe

Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Writing this for you Migs! :p You are awesome! You keep me writing! I hope that this chapter does not disappoint, and anyone could y'know give me feedback. Either way I am enjoying it. Sooo onward! Oh and if you do not like Kelly Clarkson I am sorry, I am a huge fan and I love all the songs in this. So, please do not judge on that.

Rating: M

Maybe

_I'm strong, but I break…_

_I'm stubborn, and I make plenty of mistakes…_

Deb had been staying at Karen's place for the last few weeks, she had been sleeping in Lucas's bed, and it had been a very hard few weeks. Probably the hardest in her lifetime. She had not realized just how addicted to drugs and alcohol she was until she was separated from the substances for such a long period of time. Even in rehab she had not stayed this long before she made that rope out of her blankets and tried to escape the establishment.

"That had been embarrassing." She laughed, but her laughter was quickly interrupted by the storm, lightning coming down and striking right beside her window causing her to let out a yelp.

The blonde hated storms, she always had, ever since a very young age. No, that was not true. She loved snow, and she loved rain she had even played out in the rain on occasion, what she really hated was thunder and lightning. She also hated being in new places, and not being able to drink to calm her nerves which she felt she needed right about now.

Another stroke of lightning caused the mother to scream out and throw the blanket over her head as she did so. It was a little childish, and honestly very embarrassing, luckily no one was there to see the display.

The blonde heard giggling coming from the foot of her bed and quickly threw the blanket from her body to see Karen standing there with a two mugs in her hands and a large dorky grin plastered on her face. She was obviously trying to stifle her laughter; it was too cute for Deb not to laugh as well, despite herself. She wanted to be angry with the brunette for making fun of her childish antics, but she could not.

No longer laughing, Deb raised an eyebrow at her friend who was still laughing. "You can stop laughing at me now."

Karen coughed to clear her throat before heading over to the bed and placing the mugs of what appeared to be hot chocolate on the bedside table. Sitting down on the edge of the bed she smile and said "Sorry, you just looked so cute. I take it you are scared of storms?" Her voice was playful and it made it hard for the blonde to not smile.

"I wouldn't say scared."

"What would you say then, terrified?" She laughed a bit more as she had been doing earlier only earning a glare from dark eyes.

"No."

Another stroke of lightning flashed through the air and Deb cringed, though this time she tried to compose herself and keep the smile she was wearing apparent, not screaming out. It was impressive to the brunette mother how well her friend could compose herself in order to prove a point. It was entertaining. "Seems I was mistaken." She stated if only to humor the other mother.

"Yes you were." The blonde stated in a slightly teasing voice before brown eyes glanced toward the cups beside the bed. "Hot Coco?"

"I thought you could use some." Karen said before smiling gently as she handed one of the cups to her friend and took the other in her hand. After she had it secure in her hand she gently crawled into the bed. Being responsible, she would not normally have drank anything in bed, but Deb had been having a hard time the last few weeks and these nightly gatherings had grown regular. So, she threw caution to the wind and decided it would be alright if she changed the sheets in the morning.

_Yeah, I'm hard and life with me is never easy,_

_To figure out, to love, I'm jaded but oh so lovely..._

"Thanks, Karen." Deb said as she sipped on the coco, it was hot on her lips and she pulled away to blow on the liquid in order to cool it down before she again took a sip. She was beyond grateful to have the other mother in her life, it was strange really. Who would have thought she would have fallen in love with her high school rival.

They had spent years fighting for the same man, and she had won, which actually turned out for the worst. Even after all of the years, Karen having to raise her son without a father or the help of anyone, she was still sweet enough to help the blonde through this. It meant the world and more to her. She knew that she had acted crazy in the past, she deserved nothing more than everyone's hatred, even her families, but regardless here her friend was with her. Even making her hot coco.

"For?" The brunette questioned as she sipped at her own coco, smiling a bit as she heard the answer.

"For being a good friend to me, and for giving me a place to stay and spending the nights with me." Pausing Deb licked the coco from her lips and sighed as she leant back against the pillows on the bed. "The nights are the hardest."

Karen reached out to set her mug on the bedside table before moving to position herself closer to the older woman an understand and reassuring smile playing on her lips as she wrapped a comforting arm around the other woman's shoulders and pulled her against her body. "I know. I have heard you in here, are you having nightmares?"

Feeling a heated blush fill her cheeks at the body contact between the two of them, the blonde tried her hardest to suppress and ignore the feelings. They were ridiculous. She needed to treat her friend like a friend, not a lover. "Yes, I haven't slept an hour without having one. I don't know why."

"Well, what are they about?" Pausing Karen added gently, "I mean, if you don't mind sharing, that is."

Taking in a deep breath brown eyes closed as Deb took yet another sip of her hot coco and tried to gain the confidence to talk about them. They would probably come off as ridiculous to her friend, but it may help to actually get them off of her shoulders. "I don't mind." She whispered before handing the cup to her friend. "Can you set this on the table?"

"Of course." The innocent woman stated before taking the cup and placing it on the table beside the bed beside hers, to more than likely be ignored and never drank. It had been used more as a peace offering to provide in order for the brunette to start conversing with the woman she was growing to understand more and more on a daily basis. She was really shocked by the sweet sides of Deb that she had been exposed to rarely, not the funny sides, or devious sides, but the very sweet sides that made her appear innocent.

The older of the two now moved onto her side so that she was able to wrap a strong thin arm around the waist of her friend before smiling and snuggling into the softness of her chest. This was something she had grown to love, simply holding the woman she cared for more than a friend, what she did not know was that Karen had also started to love this. It was growing to be one of her favorite things to do with the blonde.

_All you have to do is hold me,_

_And you'll know, and you'll see just how sweet it can be._

_If you'll trust me, love me, let me,_

_Maybe, Maybe._

Maybe it was selfish of Deb to be enjoying the contact as much as she was, no, she knew that it was selfish. But what was the harm in adding just another selfish act to her long list. Plus she just felt so comfortable and safe in those arms, she would deal with the repercussions this would have on her feelings for the younger mother at a later time.

Smiling into Karen's chest she snuggled against the softness she found there and hummed out in enjoyment. The brunette simply shook her head at her friend's childish behavior a smile on her own face. Oddly enough she enjoyed the contact. It had been a long time since she had had human contact and despite the source it was very nice to feel the contact again, honestly she did not even mind that the source was Deb.

As she gently started to stroke her fingers through blonde locks of hair brown eyes watched her friend's reactions to each stroke. Her body shook and soft smiles played on her facial features, her brown eyes closed in comfort. For a moment Karen worried that the blonde had fallen to sleep.

_Someday, when we're at the same place,_

_When we're on the same road,_

_When it's okay to hold my hand without feeling lost,_

_Without all these excuses,_

_When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me,_

_Then maybe, maybe._

Just as the beautiful brunette was about to ask the woman snuggled up to her chest if she were asleep she was answered as Deb started to speak. It was not that she would have minded her being asleep, she was just curious as to what the nightmares were about and she knew that it would probably help for her to talk about them.

"They are about Nathan." The usually strong and stubborn blonde mumbled out in a very weak voice.

Unsure if she should ask what they were about she decided that if she stayed quiet for a moment than the older woman might simply share the information without having to be asked. So, instead of talking, Karen simply continued to run her comforting hands through Deb's hair running them gently over her neck as she did so. Eliciting another shake from her friend. It was kind of cute.

_I'm confusing as hell,_

_I'm north and south._

_And I'll probably never have it all figured out,_

_But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you…_

"In every dream, he is taken away from me…" Pausing Deb tried to force the tears that were threatening her eyes to stay where they were. The last thing that she wanted to do was to cry all over the woman she was in love with. "Violently."

"Violently?" The brunette's large childlike eyes widened at this statement. Being a mother herself and close to her son she could understand how a dream like that could be frightening.

Taking a breath the blonde snuggled even more so into the comforting embrace of her friend who was now running one of her hands up and down her back soothingly as the other was still probing at her hair. It was helping the older woman quite a lot in explaining what happened in her dreams. Normally she would just bottle all of her problems up, she spent so many years of her life married to a man that she hated, but she bottled it up for him and her son's happiness. Her own happiness never mattered.

Still, she felt inclined to explain more to Karen. She knew that she would never judge her or put her down for anything. After all she was still around after every stupid thing that Deb had done, even though everyone else had left.

"Yes, violently. He dies, in every dream he dies." Tears were now freefalling from the strong girls blurry eyes, dripping onto the younger mother's tank top leaving a puddle where they fell. "Sometimes it is implied or just a simple thing like a car accident, other times it is more elaborate, too elaborate. And every time he dies before I can fix myself, before I can get better and show him what a good mother I can be. He dies before I can show him how much he means to me."

Karen stayed silent after her friend's admittance, she could understand why she was scared. The beautiful blonde was scared that she would lose her son before she had a chance to get better.

"After he dies I go into a spiral of depression and start to drink again and do drugs, and I always end up killing myself at the end." Her tears were freefalling by this point in the story. The woman holding her continued to stroke her back and hair as she made shushing noises and tried to encourage her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

"He will not die Deb, and I promise you will be better in no time. It's already been two weeks and you are getting so much better."

"Am I really Karen? I feel like a wreck, I want alcohol and drugs all the time, I have been getting angry so often, and I feel so broken. I don't feel like I am getting any better."

"You are. Even if you can't see it. I can see it, and I have faith in you." Karen said with a soft and reassuring smile as she looked down at Deb whose beautiful brown eyes were now staring into her own. She felt something there, a passion and love for the girl in her arms, the need to protect her was almost overwhelming.

A large smile spread across the blonde's face, one that the younger woman had not seen in sometime and it caused her own smile to widen as Deb said "Thank you so much Karen." And snuggled back against her body more than likely exhausted from all of the tears she had shed.

_And I promise I'll try,_

_Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me,_

_Every single detail you missed with your eyes_

_Then maybe, yeah maybe…_

Now her body was feeling completely exhausted as was her mind as brown eyes closed and she snuggled against the warmth of the beautiful woman she cared more for each and every day. It was so selfish but she never wanted to let go, she wanted Karen to never leave her side, even if it meant being such a wreck it was worth it to be this close to her. Letting out soft sighs of happiness and comfort she felt her mind drifting off. For once, her mind filled with happier thoughts aside from the usual darkness that consumed and possessed it.

_I don't want to be tough…_

_I don't want to be proud…_

_I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found!_

_I'm not lost!_

Karen smiled softly she felt her heart leap as she watched the older blonde hold her close, and she continued her movements with her hands. It was funny how sweet and adorable she looked in that very moment, almost as innocent as a child which the brunette knew as far from who she was.

Yet, somewhere deep inside of her there was a child. Someone who needed to be taken care of, a vulnerable side that rarely got seen by anyone; her fear of thunder and lightning for example. To the brunette these were sides that she wished she could see more of and get to know more of, it was a bit scary to her just how curious she was to know her best friend. She wanted to know what made her laugh, what made her cry, what her dreams consisted of the good and bad, and most importantly she wanted to see her smiling.

_I just need to be loved,_

_I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop because I believe,_

_That maybe, yeah maybe…_

As Deb drifted into a sleep she snored softly and it made the brunette mother giggle as she watched and listened to the cute noises. She knew that she should probably move, it could be inappropriate for her to lie here holding her best friend all night, but she knew that if she moved the blonde would again not receive a good nights sleep. So instead she opted for sliding down into the bed and taking the other mother with her still holding her tightly and protectively.

It only took a few moments for Karen to realize that she herself was also insanely tired, and her large brown eyes closed before reopening as she looked over at the clock. "Oh god." It was three in the morning; she had come in at 11:00 it seemed strange that four hours had passed that quickly. No wonder she was so exhausted the responsible woman had work in the morning and she usually went to sleep far earlier.

Again she closed her eyes snuggling against and enjoying the warmth of her friend before she herself drifted off into a deep and comfortable sleep as well.

_I should know better than to touch the fire twice…_

_But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe…_

_Your mine._

_Maybe, love, maybe._

O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H

Authors Note: This will be a multi-chapter fic, and though I know it is not a popular couple it will end up being Karen/Deb romance! Please review if you want to read more! If I get enough reviews I will totally add another chapter very soon!

-Tracy Cook


	4. Sober

Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Another one! For my dedicated Deben fan! Actually started watching season 3 again and I was like Oh my god! I missed this show! Still addicted to Tawni and Sonny with a chance, but I forgot how effing cute these two are together! Like wow, so much dynamic, there needs to be more stories! Either way, I will contribute! :p

Rating: M

Sober

_And I don't know,_

_This could break my heart or save me…_

_Nothings real,_

_Until you let go completely…_

Proud was an understatement for how Karen felt toward the older blonde mother who had now been living at her house for over a month. She had remained sober after all of this time and the brunette was beyond proud of her friend. It was not without struggle, but none of the good things in life came without putting forth effort and just a bit of struggle and Deb was doing just that.

She had tried numerous times to give up or rebound, gone through horrible withdrawals, and they had spent many nights in bed together with Karen holding the blonde in her arms as she cried or shook through nightmares. Still, through all of this all that it had succeeded in doing was bringing them closer together.

The innocent woman had seen so many different sides to the once hard and stubborn woman, so many sides that she felt she had been missing out on and was only lucky enough to be one of the few to have seen them.

Smiling brightly brown eyes looked over her reflection in the bathroom mirror; she had dressed up all cute. For some reason unbeknownst to her she cared what the blonde thought of her appearance. It was a strange worry, but she wanted her to find her physically attractive. This thought alone caused a slight blush to cross her cheeks. With the last month living together many of these thoughts had crossed her mind and all of them were a bit disturbing. She played it off as the fact that they had gotten very close and it had been a while since she had had any kind of contact. Hell, she was even going to let Dan in that was how desperate she was.

Running her brush through her dark hair one last time her smile turned from sweet to satisfactory. Deb always had a way of complimenting her and making her feel so proud of her appearance despite her age. Not that age really played a factor, the blonde was years older than herself and she was one of the most beautiful women the brunette had ever seen.

Blushing more so at her irrational thoughts she tried to rid them with her scolding and responsible mind. _'There I go again thinking these oddities… I really need to stop thinking about my friend in such strange ways.' _

Now that she was happy with the way she appeared the beautiful girl headed out of her bedroom in search of the blonde. Deb had promised to get out of the house today, even though she had not wanted too, she had promised and Karen planned to hold her to that. They would be going to the carnival in town. She and Lucas had gone many times when he was younger and it was one of her favorite things to do, even in her older age she enjoyed the rides and games.

The older woman had not been happy with the decision of where they were going, or even going out at all. She had been hiding. Scared to run into anyone who knew about her attempted suicide, most importantly she had been scared to run into Nathan or even Haley, but Karen knew that this would be an important part of the healing process. So, she was excited.

"Deb? Are you ready?" Karen shouted out through the door of Lucas' old room that the blonde was now inhabiting.

"Karen, do we have to go?" Was the whining voice on the other side. She certainly did not sound as excited about the carnival.

Sighing the brunette crossed her arms and stared hard at the closed door, the mother in her coming out full force. Sometimes it felt like she was Deb's mother, taking care of her, forcing her to come out of her shell. Other times it felt as if she were her lover, holding her at night, laughing with her. That thought almost caused her to lose her composure, but she gained it and fought back the blush. "Yes, we have to go, you promised."

There was an annoyed groan on the other side of the door before the knob started to giggle and the older woman made her way out of the room. She was dressed up as well, but in a far different way than the brunette. While Karen opted for beautiful and sophisticated, which Deb immediately took note of as her brown eyes wandered her body, the blonde went for a more teenager hip look. Wearing a V-neck tank top that showed off her amazing cleavage and a shorter skirt to show off her slightly tanned legs, along with this she had on heels.

Karen suddenly felt completely underdressed, as if she were going to a funeral or something, the blonde always had a way of looking eye-catchingly-beautiful. "Woah." Was the brunette's soft reply as her innocent eyes wandered the expanse of the blonde's body very in a not so innocent manner.

To Deb it was cute, and it only became even cuter when she saw those brown eyes quickly look away and the brunette coughed to cover her embarrassment. _'Is she blushing… because she was looking at me?' _The blonde internally questioned with a raise of the brow as she asked. "Too much?"

"No." Again she coughed before turning to head toward the door, taking one last peek at her friend's attire. "Definitely not."

Smiling smugly Deb practically skipped after her, clutching her purse at her side and making certain not to trip in her heels. She was happy, for the first time in a long time she was happy. Perhaps it was all too selfish, and she knew eventually it would catch up with her, Karen would not be there forever even if that was what she wanted, but for now she was happy.

Still, the thought of the carnival brought her down; it was not really her scene. She preferred bars and clubs, but of course neither of those would be on the agenda.

_So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving…_

_So here I go with all my fears weighing on me…_

"Do we really have to go to the carnival? Can't we do something a little more our age?" Deb questioned as Karen started the car and pulled out of the driveway, heading down the street in the direction of the carnival. She was actually very excited to be going.

"I love the carnival." The brunette stated honestly before glancing over with a smile and large innocent and sweet brown eyes.

The blonde caught those eyes with her own and she saw the disappointment as well as the excitement for the carnival behind them, and despite wanting to do something a little different she decided that it would not be all that bad to just give in. It would be completely worth it as long as she got to see the happiness behind those large brown eyes she loved.

"Fine, but no rides. They make me sick." Deb stated with a stubborn tone, it seemed she was back to acting the same as before. Minus the drugs and the booze.

Karen sighed as she pulled into the parking lot of the small carnival they had in town each year, it was not a far drive from her home, nothing in Tree Hill was that far from her home. Glancing over she caught those eyes again and said "You have to ride the rides with me, I'll be scared without someone's hand to hold."

Though the older woman was sure that her friend had only meant that platonically despite the blush that formed on her cheeks after saying it, she could not pass up the opportunity to hold the beautiful woman's hand. Even if it meant facing near death, she always hated rides.

Pouting the blonde dropped her shoulders in defeat, "Whatever, you win."

"Oh goodie, I can't wait!" Karen responded, a bright smile spreading from one ear to another. It was amazing to Deb that no matter how many hardships were passed her way; the brunette woman still remained as innocent and positive as ever. It was something she envied about her friend. How she wished they were so much more than friends.

_Three months and I'm still sober,_

_Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers,_

_But I know it's never really over…_

"Oh my fuck! Oh my fucking jeezus christ! Ahhh!" Deb shouted out loudly as the coaster cart made its way to the top of the very steep and high hill, it was terrifying. Keeping her brown eyes closed she tried to focus on the hand that was being wrapped tightly in her own and the cute giggles coming from the woman sitting beside her on the cart. It was almost enough to distract her from anything it the world.

She guessed that was the reason that she no longer felt the urge to drink or do drugs, she had been distracted by the almost sickeningly cute and innocent girl whose fingers she felt she would break any moment with how tightly she was holding on. "Calm down sweetie, I'm right here." Came that soothing voice and a stroke of her finger against her hand. This immediately did what it was aimed to do and the blonde was now only breathing heavily as she awaited their doom.

"It's kind of hard to calm down when you are about to be hurdled to your impending doom! Fuck, Karen, how did I let you talk me into this?"

"You let me talk you into this because you love me and want to make me happy." The brunette said with a little nudge of their shoulders and a squeeze of their hands. _'Oh how true that reasoning is.' _Deb thought to herself even though she knew that Karen only meant it in a friendly way.

"Well, how much longer until we—"

She lost her voice as the cart was lunged forward and she tightened her closed eyes screaming out loudly as they were hurdled up and down many hills. "Oh god! AHHHH!" She shouted out all the while she could hear the brunette beside her laughing. It seemed that she was not scared one bit, in fact she even enjoyed this death trap, and that made it all worth it for her.

_And I don't know,_

_I could crash and burn but maybe,_

_At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me?_

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." The responsible mother said as she held back the blonde's hair as she threw up into a garbage bin. Of course she felt that it was her fault for forcing the woman to not only come to the carnival, but to go on so many rides, including the roller-coaster she had said always made her sick.

Honestly Karen simply wanted the older woman to let loose and have a fun time, it seemed that their lives had too much drama in them at all times that it was no wonder that someone could be driven to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. This would at least give her something positive to think about. Not to mention the brunette really enjoyed spending time with the other mother; she felt that they were closer than she had been with anyone, even her lovers.

As Deb finished emptying her stomach on the cement she wiped her face off with her sleeve to Karen's disgust, she was always neat and tidy, but she did not say anything. Now standing up with her hand against her stomach the blonde smiled reassuringly. "No worries, I had fun."

"Are you sure?"

It was not even a lie Deb realized, she had enjoyed the entire ride with the beautiful woman by her side holding her hand. It had been terrifying and she had felt like throwing up afterward, and she had, and she was dizzy her head pounding, yet she had enjoyed it and would not take back that moment for the world. "Yes, I am sure. Now, can we get some food, or play a game?"

"But, I wanted to go on the Mamba!" Karen said in a childish voice as she pointed at an even larger roller-coaster which earned her friend's brown eyes to grow large and a groan to escape her lips. Quickly the younger of the two smiled and said "I'm only joking, of course we can eat."

Deb smiled extremely gratefully at her friend, before they headed toward the food court looking for a small snack to fill their stomachs, and hopefully calm hers.

_So I won't worry about my timing,_

_I want to get it right._

_No comparing, second guessing,_

_No not this time._

"Now this is more like it!" Deb said excitedly as she reached for yet another stuffed toy that she had won, this had been the third, and she was now running out of hands to hold them all. Karen of course still wanted to go on the Mamba and continued to beg her friend to go on it with her, but it was to no avail. The blonde would much rather be shooting water guns of throwing balls into buckets.

"Can we go on more rides now?" The brunette practically begged, even though she was perfectly content playing games with Deb, she loved seeing the way that her smile widened and her brown eyes lit up as she won. Even the way that she groaned out and added more money to the table when she lost was cute, it seemed. Lately every little thing that she did was cute to Karen.

"Oh, but I wanted to win one for you next." She said her smirk widening across her face, she hoped that the bribery would allow her to do two things she wanted to do. Continue playing the games, and give the woman of her affections a prize.

The younger mother seemed to think on this for a moment, she would love to have something to remember the amazing night with the blonde, and she would also enjoy seeing her play a game that she knew would be a challenge. "Alright." As Deb began to do her victory dance to the amusement of a few teenage boys around them, and the slight jealousy of Karen, which was a shock to her. She added, "But, I get to choose the game."

For a moment her face fell, but she quickly raised her spirits. Ever the stubborn and determined girl at times she was always prepared for a competition. "You're on!" She smiled.

_Three months and I'm still breathing,_

_Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know,_

_It's never really over…_

The blonde was extremely disappointed when her friend chose the one game she knew that she was the worst at, it was not that they had been to the carnival together, hell Deb rarely had time to do so previously in life, it was that they had played darts together in the past and she sucked. She worse than sucked, she was terrible. "You know I suck at darts Karen!"

"That's what makes it fun though, it is fun to try something new. Makes it a challenge." The brunette stated with an encouraging smile, she was always so sweet and encouraging.

"But you are already good at it, why don't you just win the prize yourself?" There went up her guards again, the sarcasm and the stubbornness returning. Karen would not allow Deb to push her away, she only pushed back.

"Why don't we do it together? I could help?"

A soft blush covered the blonde's cheeks at the thought of her helping with the game, as cheesy as she knew it was as well as cliché she could not help but react. It was embarrassing how childish she acted around the brunette, it was as if all of her strength and need to be the persona she enjoyed playing disappeared. She smiled like a fool, did not curse as often, did not feel a need to get any sort of revenge, it was just the two of them. She felt like a teenager in high school before she became pregnant, when these things were a huge deal.

Like it was her first date all over again, and it was embarrassing to admit that she was enjoying every moment. It was also selfish for her to take advantage of the beautiful brunette; she knew she would have to be honest about her intentions. Eventually, that was.

For now she was enjoying the warmth of Karen's body pressed against her back and the way that her fingers felt against her own holding the dart and trying to demonstrate the proper way. She even had her hand placed against Deb's hip pulling their bodies closer together. It felt so amazing that she had not even been paying attention as the dart slipped from her hand and hit one of the balloons. The woman behind her was excited, but she had not even noticed it had hit the mark, her body was too busy reacting to the feeling of Karen's soft breasts and the way her body felt flush against her.

"Good job!"

"Yeah…" The blonde responded as the younger woman she adored helped her to throw the next dart as well, again hitting the mark.

Oddly enough Karen was dealing with very similar sensations; hers were not as figured out though. They were confusing. The way that she enjoyed their bodies pressed together, the way it made warmth shoot through her every time they made contact. Similar to what she had felt numerous times with Andy, but this could not be the same sensation right? She wondered, but ignored it for the moment as she continued to help.

Upon winning the game both jumped up and down in excitement and Deb allowed the younger woman to choose her prize, she chose a cute little blue puppy which the blonde handed her wearing a bright smile across her face. "For you."

_Three months and I'm still standing here,_

_Three months and I'm getting better yeah,_

_Three months and I still am._

There had been one last ride that Karen had wanted to go on before they left; she had explained that when she was very young her parents would always buy the bracelets so that she could ride this ride over and over again. She loved it, out of all of the rides it was her favorite.

Yet, the brunette had not taken into account the clothing choices of her beautiful friend. Now it was becoming so clear to her though as her eyes wandered over the soaking wet woman, for being her age she had an amazingly sexy body. This perverse thought mixed with many others caused a heated blush to cover Karen's entire face as she tried to stop staring.

"Wow, that was fun." Deb said as she ran her hand through her hair, she had yet to notice that her white V-neck was clinging to her braless breasts. Her nipples completely visible through the thin fabric, and Karen was not going to be the one to tell her as she bit down on her bottom lip and tried to watch her eyes. Failing miserably.

'_Oh gosh I am being such a perv. Why am I looking at my friend this way?' _Again brown eyes wandered her body and she blushed even more so as her mind reminded her a bit too profanely, _'Maybe because she is sexy as hell!'_

_Three months and it's still harder now,_

_Three months of living here without you now._

_Three months and I still remember it…_

_Three months and I wake up..._

After Deb had realized that the water ride had caused her to become completely exposed, and after flirting with quite a few young and handsome boys, to Karen's jealousy and annoyance, they had decided it best to make their way home.

Now in completely dry pajamas the blonde was lying in bed with her friend holding onto her as they had gotten into the habit of doing. Both of them had things on their mind as exhaustion filled their bodies from their very eventful and fun day. Deb was thinking about how amazing the beautiful woman she was holding was, how she had taken care of her through everything, and how she owed her the truth.

While Karen was dealing with her own new thoughts of her friend and what exactly they meant, why would she enjoy the feeling of her body against her own, and why would she think she was sexy?

"Thanks for taking me out today, I had a lot of fun. I was so scared to go out, but it was amazing." Deb mumbled against the brunette's toned stomach as she snuggled against it to both of their enjoyment.

"It was my pleasure. Honestly, I haven't had so much fun in a long time."

The blonde smiled as she closed her brown eyes feeling completely safe and comfortable. "Me either." She mumbled before she drifted away into a deep and comfortable sleep. She was truly happy, it had been a long and dark lifetime, but she was finally starting to feel happy with it, all things happen for a reason right?

_Three months and I'm still sober,_

_Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers._

O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H

Authors Note: Welp there is the next chapter! The pace is slow, I know, I know, but they will be getting more intimate as the chapters go on! So hopefully y'all will bear with me. And by y'all I only mean one of you, haha because none of the others review to tell me this story is awesome. Haha we all know the couple is amazing, you could give me your input. :p

-Tracy Cook


	5. One Day

Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Another one! For my dedicated Deben fan!

Rating: M

One Day

_You don't know how you shine…_

_I guess no one told you._

A knock at the door distracted the blonde who was currently making her and Karen some coffee, the brunette mother busy in the shower. Thoughts of which had been plaguing her mind the entire time she filled the coffee pot with water and watched the brewing process start. That was until the abrupt sound from the living room had brought her out of her steamy fantasies and the steaming coffee pot.

Rushing toward the front door with a large smile on her face she reached out to the knob before pulling it open. He smile immediately fell at who she saw standing at the door. The source for her attempted suicide and her addictions. "What do you want Dan?" She practically spat bitterly at her ex-husband.

The manipulative man wore an all too common smirk as he shrugged his shoulders lifting up a bottle of wine practically shoving her addiction in her face as he pretended to be nice. "I wanted to see how you were, I brought a peace offering."

Brown eyes glared at the bottle contemplating what she should do with it, Deb opted for nothing as she stood in the doorway preventing him from entering the house. "I'm a recovering alcoholic Dan, how did you figure a bottle of wine was going to help me with my recovery?"

"I guess I figured it was a perfect gift, Boozy." He stated with laughter before pushing his way past his ex-wife. The blonde mother followed him into the house in protest.

"You need to leave now, nothing you do has ever helped me!"

"Where is Karen?" He asked without paying any attention to the blonde. "She must be completely stressed having to babysit you. I know how stressful it can be I've been doing it all my life, so I thought I would show her out to a good time."

"Dan, you need to give up on these delusional fantasies, she wants nothing to do with you. Could you please just go before I have the urge to relapse and stab you in the throat?" Her voice shook with spite and agitation as she squinted her eyes at him. Nothing in her facial expression gave off the feeling that she would not do as she said.

"If you do not mind is this not Karen's house? She should be the one to kick me out. If she wants that is."

"She's in the shower."

"Ooh, even better." He stated teasingly waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Reminds me of the good ol' days."

"Get out." She stated again.

_So let me be the first to show how I,_

_Love your eyes when you smile._

_Can't resist you even when I try…_

As Karen exits the bathroom she holds the towel around her body snugly and smiles at the scent of coffee as it rushes to her nose. She had honestly grown used to having Deb around with her, it had grown to be a ritual between the two of them, making the coffee while the other showers. Despite how she wished she could deny it she enjoyed the comfort and thought it felt almost as if they were dating.

A lot of this feeling was intensified by the fact that lately every time the older woman would come out of the shower dressed in only a towel she would want nothing more than to rip it off of her and see her exposed body. The thoughts caused a deep blush to form on her cheeks and her body to heat up as her mind wandered to how Deb felt when she saw her wrapped up and wet.

"Get out!" She heard a scream and knew immediately who it belonged too.

Worriedly the brunette rushed toward the kitchen, large brown eyes widening at what she saw. There stood Dan and Deb conversing. From the looks of things they were about to get rather ugly. "What are you doing in my kitchen?" She asked angrily, he had some nerve to make his way into her house unannounced and harass the woman she cared for and was trying to help.

"Oh, isn't this a sight for sore eyes, I was getting tired of looking at blondie here." He eyed her exposed body lustfully and as she caught on that she was only wearing a towel the brunette woman pulled it around her even tighter. "If you must know I figured I would come by and offer you another date with me, since our last was rudely interrupted." At the last word he glared in the blonde's direction, who returned the glare.

_One day you'll see._

_One day you'll believe me._

"Dan I want nothing to do with you. You are mean, manipulative, rude, and a downright ass, so will you please get out of my house?" She said it calmly and as nice as she could possibly muster despite her anger rising and the way that her body heated up as he threw the date in Deb's face. It was mean of him yes, but for some reason she was even more upset because she did not want the blonde to think of it as a date. Since she had moved in Karen had been making certain that she knew it was never romantic between herself and Dan. Not since high school at least.

"Ooh strong words for someone so weak." He laughed before lifting the bottle of wine to the brunette. "Take this gift Karen and please don't let boozy drink more than half of it."

"I don't want your alcohol Dan and neither does she. Now get out before I call the police."

He looked at her as if the threats were empty. Honestly, they probably were considering that he was the mayor of Tree Hill and he had a way of controlling everyone and getting them to bend to his will, but she would not hesitate to call the police. "I am not playing around." With that she headed to the phone and picked it up.

Still laughing at her behavior he shrugged. "Karen, no need to go to such lengths, I'll get out of your hair. But when you wake up and smell the flowers and realize how much better I am than your little alcoholic girlfriend over here, give me a call." With that he left still laughing.

As Dan made his way out of the house both girls let out sighs of relief before looking across the kitchen at each other. Brown eyes meeting brown. For a moment they simply held the look before they both burst out into laughter and embraced each other joking about how stupid Dan had looked. It was so strange how something so evil could bring two people so close together. For a moment Karen allowed herself to watch as Deb laughed and smiled and she realized in that moment just how much that smile meant to her.

_I don't know why they laugh._

_I won't ever understand foolish hearts and careless hands._

_I'm not like the rest of them,_

_I'll be here forever,_

_Til my last breath._

"Karen this is a Disney kids show…" Deb stated hesitantly to her friend as she watched the playful banter between the main character, a brunette, and her best friend, a blonde. It would have reminded her of her relationship between her friend if it were not so childish. Smiling she realized that Karen was actually pretty childish.

"Oh, come on Deb, I figured it would lighten the mood! Plus I love this show it always makes me laugh!" Nudging the blonde she tried to convince her completely ignoring the feelings that she felt when she returned the smile. _'She is so beautiful…' _Blushing she focused on the show "ooh! Look that's my favorite!" Both girls laughed, Deb laughing at her friends immaturity, and Karen laughing at the show.

"Ooh look!" The older mother said laughing and just as the brunette was about to agree with her she turned to glare at the smirking blonde.

"Very funny, mock if you must, at least you are smiling again. That is all that matters." The admittance was almost too much for either girl to understand. Deb felt herself blushing as did Karen as they both focused intently on the television ignoring their growing romantic feelings for one another.

Finding herself watching the brunette and the way that her eyes shined with every joke, her laughter absolutely adorable, and the innocence intriguing, Deb watched her more than the actual show itself. She knew how she felt, she loved her.

_All I know is that I've found what I've been looking for._

_Held you once, and took a chance, and asked for a little more._

_You don't know how you light up every room or how you shine._

_I guess no one told you,_

_So, if you don't mind._

Both girls had found their way into each other's arms as the show continued, much like they had grown used to snuggling in the room together, they were now snuggled up in each other's warmth. Deb had been sleeping for a while now and Karen was simply enjoying watching the beautiful girl as she tried her hardest to sort her feelings. It was confusing to say the least, she had always held a soft spot for the blonde, she always cared for her and wanted to help her through her addictions, but these feelings meant more to her. These feelings were love.

Perhaps it was simply her dependency on the blonde lately. How close they had gotten and how used to her company she had grown. After losing Andy, Karen felt that she would never have someone that close to her again. Then over night the two girls had grown to be very close. Not quite as close physically as her and Andy, but the thought did not repulse her.

In fact allowing her brown eyes to wander over Deb's smiling slumber lips she blushed at the thought of kissing them. The thought not only did not repulse her, but it actually excited her. She did not understand the reasoning behind her heart speeding in her chest at the thought of it, she could not put a thumb on what exactly she wanted, all that she knew was that she wanted more with Deb.

_One day you'll see_

_One day you'll believe me…_

_One day you'll know_

_One day I won't have to show you…_

O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H

Authors Note: Here is another chapter, been sick lately… I hope that y'all like it! Please read and review! I'm trying to add another chapter to all of my multi-chaps but it is really hard on some haha. Still, keep your eyes out.

-Tracy Cook


	6. Love In These Eyes

Because Of You

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.

Couple: Deb/Karen

Authors Note: Another one! For my dedicated Deben fan!

Rating: M

Love In These Eyes

_Somewhere in the night, _

_There is darkness, there is light_

_And I'm reaching within to find, where the sadness ends._

'_Cause maybe then I'll know, _

_Why I always feel alone._

_I need something to hold, something to call my own._

Karen attempted to stretch her limbs as she awakened from her slumber, but she quickly found herself incapable of mobility. Eyes fluttered open and she was met with the dark ceiling above. She could feel a warmth encircling her body, and hair tickling the skin of her chest, as well as a foreign contact between her thighs. She was confused.

Craning her neck she looked down and quickly realized what was constraining her. It was Deb. This was not strange really, they had snuggled on occasion when the blonde had broken down in her arms crying, or when they had simply moved together in the darkness of the room, seeking comfort and closeness, but this was different. Deb was lying on top of her in a not so innocent position. Her head resting against her chest, her arms tightly wrapped around her small waist, and her knee nestled between her thighs dangerously close to her womanhood.

A blush covered her cheeks and her eyes widened as she felt Deb move in her sleep and her thigh press up harder against her heated center.

"Oh lord…" Karen whispered out into the darkness. She felt a sensation shoot through her body at the contact and she had to literally suppress a moan. This was shocking, she had never thought of her best friend in this way. She would normally be disgusted at the thought of anyone aside from a significant other touching her there, and yet, she had enjoyed the contact.

It was disheartening and a little bit terrifying. Especially since she found herself wanting more of the contact.

"Deb." She whispered out into the darkness, hoping to wake the blonde mother and save her from her imprisonment. This caused Deb to move once more in her sleep, lifting her knee and pressing it against her center, eliciting a moan. "God…" Karen groaned out, trying to shift her hips away from the intruding leg. "Deb, you need to wake up." She attempted once more.

Suddenly, Deb was drawn out of her sleep as she heard Karen's voice. Sitting up quickly, her blonde hair splayed all over her face and shoulders, tangled in knots, she stared down at the beautiful woman that she was practically molesting in her sleep.

"Oh shit, Karen, I'm so sorry." She apologized hastily, before pushing herself off of the other woman. Now straddling her hips and looking down at her.

Karen's blush intensified as her large eyes wandered the exposed skin of Deb's stomach as she stretched her body out. "It-its fine Deb, really, I just…" Her voice trailed off and she quickly realized that she had no idea what she wanted to say. She could not explain the feelings that she had been having because they were odd, and they would probably only serve to cause the other woman discomfort. Besides, they did not mean anything; Karen only liked Deb as a friend.

Deb felt guilty, as if she had taken advantage of Karen's sleeping state in order to get closer to her. "It's perfectly fine Karen, you don't have to explain." She flashed her a smile as she crawled out of the bed, calming her racing heart.

_Find a wishing well or a shooting star,_

_Find a fairytale that takes me so far,_

_Away from here I just want to feel more._

'_Cause I've been waiting all my life,_

_For a fire to burn and a lesson to learn,_

_Nothing ever turns out right,_

_But I still believe that someday I'll see that,_

_It's never too late to find,_

_Love in these eyes._

Deb and Karen were both currently sipping on their coffee and talking about the encounter with Dan the prior evening. Karen could tell that the blonde was more upset with the fact that he had shown up, but that made sense. He was a reminder to her of why she started drinking, of why she started popping pills, and of the son that she did not have in her life any longer. He was everything that she hated and everything that she blamed for her problems.

But, Karen could not be more proud of her friend. She considered Dan showing up as a test. He had shown up and it had tested how far along Deb was in her rehabilitation, because she had stood up to him. She had told him to leave and then when he did leave, despite being depressed, she had not turned to substance abuse.

Of course, there was another factor.

Deb now had her to turn to, and Karen worried what would happen when she didn't. Lately, she had started to feel like that day may never come. She had gotten so used to having the older woman living with her, that she often felt as if they were in some sort of committed relationship, but then she would realize that was not the case.

Eventually, they would both find men, settle down, and Deb would move out.

That thought caused her to feel uneasy.

"I wish that Nathan would return my calls." Deb announced as she continued to sip on her coffee. Karen smiled sadly at her friend. She understood that feeling, she could remember when Lucas had moved in with Dan, how distanced she had felt, how empty she was not having him in her life. She wouldn't wish that feeling on her worst enemy, let alone her closest friend.

"I know Deb, but I'm sure he'll come around. He just needs to see that you are really changing and getting better."

"I hope you're right." She whispered out.

"I know I am." Karen said, earning a laugh from the blonde mother.

Reaching across the table she placed a hand over Deb's, giving it a soft squeeze. For the first time though, the contact did not feel innocent nor did it feel friendly and thoughts of the morning resurfaced in her mind. She could recall how amazing it had felt when Deb moved her leg against her and how she had moaned out in pleasure, these thoughts causing her to blush. This was starting to bother her; she shouldn't feel this way simply holding her best friend's hand.

Deb blushed as well, staring back into Karen's eyes. She could have sworn that she saw something behind them, something that was more than friendly affection. For a moment her mind tempted her to take a chance and tell her about how she felt for her, to kiss her, but she couldn't risk that.

If she lost Karen now, she knew that she would spiral back into the darkness and probably never awaken again.

"Thank you so much for everything Karen; I couldn't do this without you."

"You thank me every day." Karen laughed.

Deb blushed further as she looked down at their interlocked hands and smiled. "It's because I am so grateful. You tell me all the time that I don't need to thank you, but I really do. You have no idea how much you have done for me and how much you mean to me."

Then it clicked. Karen really did care for Deb; she cared for her in more than a friendly way. It wasn't that she wouldn't help her friends to this intensity, because she would help anyone in need, but it was something behind those beautiful brown eyes that made all of the pieces fit together. That was why she enjoyed this morning, that was why she loved holding her hand, and that was why she loved seeing Deb happy. She was in love with her.

It was probably the most horrifying realization of her life, excluding when she found out that she was pregnant with Lucas in high school.

She didn't know what to do with this revelation. She couldn't tell Deb, could she? Risk everything that they have? Risk their friendship?

No.

_Sometimes I get tired,_

_It's like this road goes on for miles,_

_And nobody knows how hard it is to smile._

_Someday I'll look in the mirror,_

_And staring back at me,_

_Will be the person I am,_

_And the person that I always thought I could be._

O

Authors Note:

I know it has been a while but I have been inspired by re-watching every season of One Tree Hill currently, to add to all of my One Tree Hill fics. I will be adding to this one and three others tonight and then my other four tomorrow. :) I hope that you all enjoy reading this chapter, and please do leave me reviews. I hardly get any encouragement for this couple and it really sucks because I love them so much!

-Tracy Cook


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